Being The Husband I Always Wanted

When I was a child, I often thought about the day when I would be the happy and proud wife of a man who was honest, trustworthy, respectful, loving and hard-working.  We would never lie to each other, enjoy spending time together, raise our children together and build a life together.

At 35 years of age and with five children who have noone to call 'dad',  I have resigned myself to the fact that this is not how things will ever be for me.  Unfortunately, I have been the one who has worked, provided and cared for myself and my children with little or no help from any 'significant other', much less a husband.

I have realized that I am the husband I always wanted.  I work, pay the bills, strive to provide for everyone's needs and am always finding ways to provide what 'wants' I can, as well.  I love my children unconditionally, am always home when I am not at work and do not find ways to 'escape' out of boredom or restlessness.  I do not lie to anyone, I can be trusted and I am respectful of other people's feelings and values.

Though most days seem to not provide enough hours or energy for me to do all that I want to do, we still manage.

I may not be particularly happy with the way my life has turned out, but I can make the most out of any circumstances that come my way. I have learned that no matter how much you do for someone, you cannot make them do what they are supposed to do unless it comes from within themselves. Thank God, He has given me that gift.

I find it a shame that the men in our time have become such selfish, lazy creatures who have no idea how to be real men. Granted, their are a few exceptions, but they are few and far between. I know many more single moms struggling to be both mother and father, provider and caregiver to their families than I know men who work to support their wives and children.  I know many more men who shirk their responsibilities of paying child support than I do who make it a priority to work enough hours or jobs to support themselves, their new families AND provide for the children they left behind.  I know more men who have spent more on their drug and alcohol habits than they have ever spent on birthday or Christmas presents for their sons and daughters.

Am I bitter... maybe.  Am I disappointed....yes.  But I AM the husband I always wanted to have.

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Playing Catch-Up

Well, a whole summer has passed and now I need to play catch-up with my blog.  We are now living in Georgia, as my illness and leave of absence left me without a job in Florida. I could have transferred, however, I found a different job once I got here that is a bit better in the working conditions department, but worse in the paycheck department. Sometimes you just have to decide what is more important.

As for my illness, I slowly got better without ever seeing a neurologist. Still not sure exactly what went on there, just thanking God that I am back to normal brain function.

Georgia is nice, but bad on the arthritis.  Or maybe it's the long hours I spend on my feet or even getting old. All I know is that I am way too young to be in this much pain all the time. Kinda depressing, but I do go on.

Only a little time until I leave for work, so making this short. Will catch up better on my days off.


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