Being The Husband I Always Wanted

When I was a child, I often thought about the day when I would be the happy and proud wife of a man who was honest, trustworthy, respectful, loving and hard-working.  We would never lie to each other, enjoy spending time together, raise our children together and build a life together.

At 35 years of age and with five children who have noone to call 'dad',  I have resigned myself to the fact that this is not how things will ever be for me.  Unfortunately, I have been the one who has worked, provided and cared for myself and my children with little or no help from any 'significant other', much less a husband.

I have realized that I am the husband I always wanted.  I work, pay the bills, strive to provide for everyone's needs and am always finding ways to provide what 'wants' I can, as well.  I love my children unconditionally, am always home when I am not at work and do not find ways to 'escape' out of boredom or restlessness.  I do not lie to anyone, I can be trusted and I am respectful of other people's feelings and values.

Though most days seem to not provide enough hours or energy for me to do all that I want to do, we still manage.

I may not be particularly happy with the way my life has turned out, but I can make the most out of any circumstances that come my way. I have learned that no matter how much you do for someone, you cannot make them do what they are supposed to do unless it comes from within themselves. Thank God, He has given me that gift.

I find it a shame that the men in our time have become such selfish, lazy creatures who have no idea how to be real men. Granted, their are a few exceptions, but they are few and far between. I know many more single moms struggling to be both mother and father, provider and caregiver to their families than I know men who work to support their wives and children.  I know many more men who shirk their responsibilities of paying child support than I do who make it a priority to work enough hours or jobs to support themselves, their new families AND provide for the children they left behind.  I know more men who have spent more on their drug and alcohol habits than they have ever spent on birthday or Christmas presents for their sons and daughters.

Am I bitter... maybe.  Am I disappointed....yes.  But I AM the husband I always wanted to have.

Leia Mais...

Voltar...

It's Raining, It's Pouring.. My old man is snoring...

Ok, so me and JT are back together again and well, did I expect anything to change? Not really, but I did hope against hope, lol.  I'm trying not to be mad that I am plugging away and working my butt off to try and make sure that the income keeps rolling in and we are able to pay our bills on time while he is in  the bedroom in his pj's. That is the concept behind working from home, right? Being home in our pjs?

So, let's cut to the chase, here.  I need a reality check pertaining to my expectations and the reality that I live in.

Expectation #1:  I expect to not be the only one responsible for paying bills, buying food, cleaning the house and earning income
Reality: I am the only one who actively works on ways to provide for my family. JT is a good grocery shopper, but with my money. People only clean around here once they see mom get up and start doing it. While mom is working at the computer, everyone else believes it is their break time.

Expectation #2: I expect people to take care of their own obligations.
Reality: Apparantly, I am the only one who believes that if you have something that is totally your responsability, take care of it ASAP before it becomes a massive snowball of destruction headed straight at you. 

Expectation #3: I expect children over the age of 10 to know that there are certain things that they can do to make a household run easier, and then do them without being told a million times and watching their mother turn into a stark raving lunatic.
Reality: They are kids.

Expectation #4:  I expect that if you need something to wear to school the next day or have a school function that mom needs to be let known of, you should do it weeks in advance, leave me notes, put it on the calendar, SOMETHING, because mom's brain is overloaded and I CRS.
Reality:  I am usually told at midnight of the evening before the specific item or event is needed. Usually for the first time, lol!

Ok, that's some of them.  And I've accepted the fact that my reality is a bit different from what I expect of others.  Kinda.

I don't necessarily think that what I expect is all that bad.  I mean, they are only common sense things, right? Or, am I wrong?

Well, I'm off to blog another blog, eat me a bagel and advertise, advertise, advertise. 

Leia Mais...

Voltar...