Getting Through The Hard Times

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

James 1:12 (NIV)

This is the verse of the week listed in the CWAHM Newsletter that I received today. Inspiring, isn't it? I, myself, have been going through a personal trial for the last couple of months and at times, I have been tempted to throw in the towel. Thank God that he gave me a whopping dose of perseverance.

Throughout everyone's life, there are times of peace & contentment as well as times of trial. I've had my fair share of trials in all areas of life, whether in personal relationships, health matters, financial issues.. the list goes on and on. What I have learned is that you cannot let your emotions rule your actions. Yes, we get depressed and stressed-out. We get overwhelmed at times and can't see the silver lining around each grey cloud that comes our way. Our emotions will wreak havoc on us if we do not have the proper mind-set that will allow us to take things one step at a time, one obstacle at a time and continue to push forward toward our goals.

How do we create this can-do, never-give-up attitude within ourselves to allow us the peace of mind and quietness of spirit to get through our many tests and trials?

A Firm Belief In God.

I don't know any better way to get through life's difficulties than to take to heart the words of our Father in Heaven, who has promised victory to those who love and serve Him. Some of our difficulties are direct results of our own mistakes .... so what? God is certainly a lover of all people. All you have to do is read the Bible to realize that he had no less love for the prostitute or the tax collector than he did for the men of the cloth. Many of the people He chose to do amazing and wonderful things had backgrounds that would make anything you might have done look like small potatoes.

A Daily Routine Of Studying God's Word

Very often, the Lord will lead you to just the right inspirational verse or promise that will give you just what you need to hang on till the end. One of my favorite sayings is "Don't give up on the brink of your miracle." Read about the tests that others in the Bible have gone through and how they handled their situations. Get inspired by the many ways God came through on their behalf. Get a reality check by comparing what you are going through to what our forefathers went through. When is the last time you wandered in a desert for 40 years? When is the last time YOU were whipped and beaten for what you believe in?

Experience is one way, unfortunately!

As we go through life and come up against situations where there seems to be no way out we can always look back on times when we had faced similar trials before and in some way, found the solution to our problem. Some things have a way of working themselves out. Often, it is just in the nick of time! Right before we give up. We can be encouraged by the times in our life when we have overcome difficulties and know that it wasn't a fluke. We have it within ourselves to keep on keeping on. Asking God to increase our Faith in Him to see us through is never a prayer left unanswered.

Share What You Are Going Through With Someone Who Has Been There - Done That

God allows us to go through certain things in order to help others who will eventually come into our lives and are experiencing the same situations. Seek out someone who has been through what you are going through and learn what they did to overcome their delimma. You can draw strength from others who have beaten the odds, come out on top and share their experiences with you. And when someone comes into YOUR life who needs your experience and encouragement - give it to them!

Prayer and Praise

You don't have to be an eloquent person to pray to God. At times we are so overwhelmed that we hardly know what to think, let alone pray! Even a one word prayer of 'Help' is heard by our loving Heavenly Father. Just as you would hear that one word from your own dearly beloved children, He hears your heartfelt prayer even if it is just a thought. Thank Him for helping you even when you cannot see or feel anything specific going on. God works in mysterious ways and we don't always know what is going on behind the scenes.

Know That All Things Work Together For The Good Of Those Who Love Him

Regardless of what we think is good for us or not, God knows what is good and right for our lives. Our children think it is good for them to have a diet consisting only of candy, soda and potato chips. But, we know better and do not allow them to subsist on only those things. We consistantly expose them to new and different meal choices, whether they like it or not. As they grow older, they realize that their bodies need other nourishment than just what tastes good to them at the moment.

I hope that you have gained some perspective from these few suggestions on how to get through your times of trial. You will undoubtably come across times when your emotions will leave you feeling wiped out and drained, thinking that you just don't have the power within you to take one more step. But, they are wrong. Look up and not down. Seek peace and not quarrel. Take a break instead of getting broken. Don't give up! You may be on the brink of your miracle!


Leia Mais...

Dude! Where's My Brain?!?!?!

Ok, so... last ya'll knew I had taken JT back, lost my brain functions and was cranky about the lack of health care available to me.  Not much has changed, except JT is gone again, rofl.

See, I set him up to work with my step-dad. Now, my step-dad is a little overbearing, doesn't pay all that well and has a raw sense of humor. BUT, JT has not worked the whole year we have been together and I have supported him very well. He didn't need to worry about anything. So, since I've been having these medical issues, my dad got a bunch of jobs and asked JT to help him figuring it would help out the family since my income is a bit lower than it was when I was working full time. I didn't want to waste gas by running JT back and forth to work every day, so I let him use my van. Funny thing was... it was always on empty. Now, the other day, he came home, said he ran into some cousins of his and was going fishing and was going to crash at his mom's and go to work from there. Fine. He didn't ask  how I was feeling that day, if I needed him to help me out at all.. nothing. Within 10 minutes he was gone. This rubbed me raw in a few ways, but mostly because I had been harping for weeks that since I now did not have to go to work, I really wanted to go fishing. We DO live in the Bass Capital of the World, here! And, besides, I'd been having horrible headaches, heart palpitations and generally not being myself.

Once he left, I actually got dressed, did my hair and makeup and headed out... determined that if he could go out and have fun, so would I. Unfortunately, I felt so horrible and was having such dizzy spells, I ended up back home just hanging out with the kids. So much for that!

When he got back the next day he actually had the balls to accuse me of going out to hang out with other guys and what was I doing for the three hours I was gone! Excuse me??

He used my van again to work Sunday and my dad paid him. (I didn't know that my dad had already paid him about $75 before this) He made no mention of helping with any of grocery shopping we did that night, or the bills I was paying by phone yesterday morning. In fact, I only found out that he supposedly had $80 when my youngest daughter mentioned it to me. Well, yesterday he was awfully intentional about getting the van to take some drill bits back to his dad and that maybe I should stay home since I wasn't feeling well. 


Three hours later (his parents live 10 minutes away) he strolls in and says he has to spend the night at his mom's because she has to go get her nose cauterized and someone was prowling around their house the night before. Now, his cousin lives there. A 21 year old male. Why couldn't HE watch the house? Again, no inquiries of how I was doing. In fact, I had just gotten off the phone with his mom and she had said NOTHING about him staying there.

I asked him if he had any intention of helping me pay any of this month's bills with the $80 my dad gave him the day before and he said he put his last $3 in the gas tank right before he got here. Huh? Where did all the money go, then?
I said, "You know what, JT. I don't need this anymore. I have enough going on, enough stress... I'll take you to your mom's to 'guard their house' and then that is where you are going to stay."  I've had it. No more.

Come to find out, my dad had paid him about $175 in the last few days and I saw absolutely none of it. Even a little of it would have helped. I don't think it's fair that I spend every cent I have on bills, gas and groceries while he didn't even THINK about helping me with any of what my dad gave him (thinking it was going to the household). I don't know what he is up to but it's nothing good. In fact, he didn't even bring any fish home the night he was supposed to be 'fishing'.

I'm going to chalk this all up to another brain malfunction. I musta forgot that he will never grow up, never be a responsible adult. That he will never grow out of that selfish 'me-first' attitude.

I have to admit I did have one childish outburst during the drive to his mom & dad's. He kept telling me how much he loved me and how he didn't want this to be over ... but never said, you know what? I know you aren't feeling well and my dad and Chad can guard the house. I'll help you.. So I threw my cup of coffee all over him. :D  Childish, yes, but it felt wonderful.

So, I packed up his stuff last night. It's in the van for me to deliver to his mom and dad's tomorrow morning. I hung out with my girls till 2am, laughing and joking and bonding. I did laundry, dishes and am still up 'cause I can't sleep. Insomnia has been my friend lately. At least my head is not hurting too badly at the moment and I don't feel too 'cloudy headed'.

Maybe I'm allergic to JT......


Leia Mais...

Stick It To Me

Ran across this fun bloghop at It's A Sweet Thing & thought I'd join in!

Here are mine..

Head on over to It's A Sweet Thing's Blog and follow along!


Leia Mais...

Doctor Visit Update

Since moving to Florida, I have had nothing but stress concerning doctor visits. See, in Pa, I had the same doctor since I was 14 years old. I went to her for everything. I knew the office staff, the other doctors in the 'loop', could go any time I or my children needed anything. I would be seen by family doctors, specialists, NEUROLOGISTS, be able to get CT SCANS, whatever I needed, I could get it done.


I may have a brain tumor or be suffering from some type of seizure disorder. but SORRY! No specialists will see me.

My regular job took me off the schedule and said I coudln't work so I had to have medical leave of absence papers filled out by the doctor. Even THAT was like pulling teeth because I have no diagnosis. ROFL Oh, this is grand.  Needless to say, there are a lot of 'unknown' and 'unable to determine's on that form. Hope they accept it.

THIER advice is that since I have no medical insurance, to wait till I'm having a real bad episode, then drag myself to the E.R. and have them do all the tests I need. Great. I can see that. I am trying to AVOID being in a hospital, and that is what they tell me. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I miss Pa for one reason only.. my medical care. Florida is NOT the place to be if you may be dying. They don't care.


Leia Mais...

Another Doctor Appointment

Well, I've got another doctor appointment tomorrow.  I don't mind going so much, I really need something to make my heart beat correctly.  Yesterday was pretty rough.  When I had my open heart surgery 10 years ago, they told me that I may have the palpatations the rest of my life. However, they usually only really bother me when I'm lying down.  Lately, they've been happening all the time and yesterday was an all-day affair. I was almost convinced to go to the hospital - almost.  But, I knew that they would admit me and I couldn't have that! lol

So, tomorrow, I'll see if they have anything that can get my heart under control. Plus, I've got to get these Medical Leave of Absence papers filled out. It would have helped if I would have been able to see a neurologist already, but I have to wait.

I think, later when it's quiet, I will do a rememberance post about my open heart surgery.  THAT was definately an unforgettable experience!

For now, I've got to get some work done.  Ta-Ta !


Leia Mais...

Today Is Wyatt's Fourth Birthday!

Today is my baby's fourth birthday !!

For those who don't know about Wyatt... let me tell you... he is something else!

Wyatt is smart.. He uses words in context that you would never believe a four year old could understand. Although sometimes he mispronounces words in very comical ways, he definately gets his point across!

Wyatt is loving...  He tells me every day, practically every minute that he loves me.  He will come up to me out of the blue just to kiss my arm or leg or whatever is closest to him at the  moment and say "Mommy, I love you, yup, I do" and run off again to play.

Wyatt is a Playstation Master...  Wyatt's favorite thing in the entire world is playing Playstation. I think it is the very first thing he thinks about when he wakes up in the morning.   And once he is cut off, his famous excuse is "But I only played for TWO SECONDS!!" 

Wyatt loves to scare you...  One of his favorite games is sneaking up on you and screaming 'BOO! Mommy, did I scare you? BOO! Mommy, did  I scare you that time?  BOO! Did I scare you again, Mommy?"  This can go on all day, lol.

Wyatt can hold his own...  Being the youngest out of five children with two older brothers who enjoy wrestling and fighting and kung-fu-ing each other all day and night, Wyatt had to learn early not to let anyone pick on him.  I'll hear the boys 'dog-piling' Wyatt till he starts crying, then I will yell something like "Are you guys happy now ?  You hurt the baby!"  Next thing you know, one of the older ones is howling and Wyatt will strut out saying "Don't worry, mommy. I got 'em back."

Wyatt is the last of the mohicans.  I will not be having any more children unless God himself comes down from heaven and tells me I have to.  In that respect, watching him grow up is bitter-sweet.  I don't want to send him to school.  I don't want him to grow up! I want to keep him right where he is now, my silly little guy who just ran up to me and asked if he is a 'moron' and when I told him no, he said he likes being a moron, CAN he be a moron?! ROFL


Leia Mais...

Curiouser and Curiouser

In my blog hopping today I ran across a giveaway listed at Momma Findings and which has jogged my memory and prompted this post.

I remember when my oldest son was into the 'snooping' stage.  Some may call it just being curious, I however called it snooping, as he was definately into things that he had no business being into!

I had a few friends over and thought my beloved son was being a good boy, entertaining himself upstairs in his room. That line of thinking was quickly dismissed when he came downstairs with a larger sized 'silver bullet' in his hands and walked confidently and excitedly up to the table and announced:

"Just look at THIS!!"  It must go to a HUGE gun!!!!!!"

Much to my dismay and embarassment!!

Needless to say, my guests enjoyed the evening immensely.


Leia Mais...

It's Raining, It's Pouring.. My old man is snoring...

Ok, so me and JT are back together again and well, did I expect anything to change? Not really, but I did hope against hope, lol.  I'm trying not to be mad that I am plugging away and working my butt off to try and make sure that the income keeps rolling in and we are able to pay our bills on time while he is in  the bedroom in his pj's. That is the concept behind working from home, right? Being home in our pjs?

So, let's cut to the chase, here.  I need a reality check pertaining to my expectations and the reality that I live in.

Expectation #1:  I expect to not be the only one responsible for paying bills, buying food, cleaning the house and earning income
Reality: I am the only one who actively works on ways to provide for my family. JT is a good grocery shopper, but with my money. People only clean around here once they see mom get up and start doing it. While mom is working at the computer, everyone else believes it is their break time.

Expectation #2: I expect people to take care of their own obligations.
Reality: Apparantly, I am the only one who believes that if you have something that is totally your responsability, take care of it ASAP before it becomes a massive snowball of destruction headed straight at you. 

Expectation #3: I expect children over the age of 10 to know that there are certain things that they can do to make a household run easier, and then do them without being told a million times and watching their mother turn into a stark raving lunatic.
Reality: They are kids.

Expectation #4:  I expect that if you need something to wear to school the next day or have a school function that mom needs to be let known of, you should do it weeks in advance, leave me notes, put it on the calendar, SOMETHING, because mom's brain is overloaded and I CRS.
Reality:  I am usually told at midnight of the evening before the specific item or event is needed. Usually for the first time, lol!

Ok, that's some of them.  And I've accepted the fact that my reality is a bit different from what I expect of others.  Kinda.

I don't necessarily think that what I expect is all that bad.  I mean, they are only common sense things, right? Or, am I wrong?

Well, I'm off to blog another blog, eat me a bagel and advertise, advertise, advertise. 


Leia Mais...

Puppies, Puppies Everywhere!

This is an endorsement for spaying and neutering your pets!

It seems that fertility doesn't just run in my human genes, it has been passed down to my 'baby', Azo:

She apparantly also likes the 'bad boys' and was convinced to give up her virginity to the local 'Dog About Town'.  Now, mind you... Azo doesn't go off looking for 'it'.  She is happily confined to our neck of the woods. But, you know how those 'Dawgs' are when they smell a 'bitch-in-heat", right?  He came right into our backyard and impregnated my little girl!  And then, you know what he did?  Ran off, never gave her ONE ounce of support as she grew round as a house, FOUR pairs of boobs hanging to the ground, gave birth to SEVEN babies and had to let them go at her like she was some kind of buffet table for months!!

Now, I have seven Grand-Puppies: Zoe (who looks exactly like her mom), Chip (the runt who looks like a chipmunk), Ludo (the brute of the bunch - fat and fluffy, only one other fluffy one), Lu-Chin (Ludo's twin sister - also fat and fluffy), Rodney (who was named after my friend Rodney who also has a Napoleon Complex - short and stocky), Valerie (the smart one who looks at you intently no matter what you are doing) and Loki (named after the God of Mischief, need I say more?)

 (Wyatt & Zoe)                                                         (Chip)     

Now, it got real cold here for a few weeks, and we brought the puppies inside. And if you don't know what seven puppies can do to a household, let me tell you - It's not pretty!  My children are in love with them. So am I, but they are BEASTS! And, now that they are on Nee-Nee restriction, they are eating us out of house and home!       

I must find homes for them.  Quickly.  I wish I could keep them all.  They are so adorable :(  Every morning there is a puppy stampede, running, jumping, barking... to see who can get to me and their breakfast first. Even my CAT likes them!

Puppies, puppies everywhere!           


Leia Mais...

A New Start Always Comes At The End Of Something (Part 2)

Well, I'm still suffering from insomnia, but I imagine that eventually I will sleep.  At least when I do finally sleep, it is deep and undisturbed.

A second end that has recently come upon me is the loss of my full time J.O.B. as the Assistant Manager of our local convenience store.  I didn't lose it, actually. I was forced to take a medical leave of absence.  About three weeks ago, I started having severe dizzy spells and a 'fuzzy head'.  It's hard to explain, except that I imagine that I feel how people who are in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease feel.  I can't remember things right, like the other day when I couldn't figure out how to turn the headlights on in my van. Or the times I have a conversation with someone and then ask them the same question four or five times and they are looking at me like I have lost my mind.  But, it's just that I forgot that I asked!

I did go to the doctor. I paid $65 for the first visit, where I was told that I had a virus, they didn't care about my previous medical history or want my medical records and gave me a shot in the butt for nausea.  I tried to tell them that I was only nauseous when I had the dizzy spells, and that it didnt have anything to do with eating or drinking or being sick. I do not feel sick at all. But, they didn't want to hear it, so I stuck it out another week and went to a different doctor. Actually, a clinic.  There, they actually examined me, said I showed no signs of sickness, but the symptoms I presented with were worrisome.  Dizziness, Fatigue, Heart Palpatations, 'Fuzzy Head', Memory Problems, Headaches are all neurological symptoms and I need to be seen by a neurologist.  Ahhh.... right. 

I have no insurance. Now, I am not permitted to work because they will not allow me to be on a shift by myself and our store does not allow double coverage.  The only neurologist who agreed to see me wanted $400 up front for the initial visit and who knows how much more after that.  Never mine.  I'll stick it out and check around and maybe somehow I will be able to see a Dr. sometime.

Anyhow, in a way,  this is a blessing.  I have been forced into a position where I have to 'Walk The Walk' instead of always being the encourager and 'Talking The Talk' to other work from home people.  I have been completely self-sufficient before in the means of working from home.  I have been able to stay home with my children and pay our bills exclusively with my home business before.  Now, I will do it again.  The only reason I went back to work full time is because of the 'Big Move' from Pennsylvania to Florida.  THAT was a trip, let me tell you.  But, that's for another day.

So, now I'm a dizzy blonde and I have to put my wholehearted concentration into completely replacing the income lost from my full time job. I have about one month of savings that can get me by in the mean-time. THIS is gonna be FUN!

Along with my other network marketing adventures, I have recently joined Homemade Gourmet as an Independent Representative.  I invested in a HUGE kit an am impatiently awaiting it's arrival as there are a ton of community events that go on around here year-round and I am the only Rep in this area for miles and miles and miles. I plan to set up and get going, just need the product delivered. I even set up a new blog for this new biz. Check it out at .

Well, I'm tired and it's quiet. I took the boys to the bus stop today and enjoyed every minute of it. I missed so much working away from home this last year and a half. I'd never spent so much time away from my children as I have during that period of time and it was hard on all of us. The boys being so happy that I'm at the bus stop with them almost brings tears to my eyes. They missed me too. But, they never complained very much.  They have always been so very supportive of me in everything I do. I'm so blessed to have five such amazing children :)

As for me and J.T.  I forgave him. Again. I'm scared about what is going on with my health and for some reason, I can't stop loving him. He's got his faults, I've got mine. I know I'm a perfectionist and that neither one of us are perfect. Alcohol is a trigger point to me and I completely freak out due to my past dealings with it. Maybe this is  right, maybe this is wrong. But, I'm freaked out and need him. He's the only one I can let know how worried I am about what's going on and what will happen if something really is wrong with my brain. Who would take care of my babies, etc. For them, I must be the same, crazy, make a joke out of mommy's forgetfulness, not let them be worried. Let them be kids.


Leia Mais...

A New Start Always Comes At The End Of Something (Part 1)

A New Start Always Comes At The End Of Something...
(Part 1)

I've deleted all but two posts from this, my personal blog.  It's a new beginning for me in a number of ways. So, like I just did in my personal life, I wiped the slate clean and have started over.

I guess I should elaborate..

Though I am not new to the online world, I am fairly new at consistant blogging. I've led a crazy life and have not been able or inspired enough to keep up with my blog on a regular basis. So many obstacles have kept me from doing the things that I really enjoyed and wanted to do. But, now, that is changing.

Those of you who have known me, or of me, over the last 10 or so years I've been online realize that there are months and even a year or so at a time when I just disappeared due to circumstances going on in which I either had no access to or ability to be at a computer. I may get into that some day in my ramblings, but for now, I will stick to the present. Yet another new beginning which has come quickly upon me as I close out a chapter of my life.

I have recently ended a relationship with someone who I am deeply in love with. However, as I've been known to do before, I suppose I'm more in love with his potential than his reality. I walk a fine line on the tightrope of chances - deciding which one is the last. I am always able to validate behaviors of others' while knowing what the 'right' thing to do would have been. I'm not perfect by any means. I just believe in treating others the way I would want to be treated, taking into account other's feelings before acting on impulse and know that there are always consequences to our actions. I am one of the ones who accepts my responsabilities & consequences, whatever they may be. Unfortunately, he is not.

Yesterday, he left. I asked him to go. He knew when he came home with beer on his breath again that I would and he didn't fight it. I didn't answer his calls today. I will be packing his things tomorrow. Today, I just engrossed myself in work and have been at it for almost 24 hours now with a 3 hour snooze break. My back is aching, my neck and my eyes don't want to even function anymore after staring at this computer screen all day and night. But, I will rest soon.

The house is quiet right now and that's when I can think. And I want to get this out because I still have things to do to gain some type of closure, if I ever do. I know he thinks that if he just gives me enough time I will miss him enough to let him come home, like I've always done before. But, this time, I have to be strong. STRONG! I have other things going on in my life. Scary things, things that require my mind to be focused and my determination to be great and my faith to be unbreakable. I can't let him drag me down into the abyss of self-destruction and worry and the extra stress of being with someone who lies to me and I can't trust.

Oh, Lord, give me your strength, fill me with faith, wrap me in comfort and walk me through this so I can be what I need to be for YOU and my children.

I've not let many people into my personal life and feelings. Baring my soul is not easy, but since my big move I've met many aquaintances, but not very many friends. And the friends that I've met, I've even kept them at bay. I won't do that anymore.  I will begin to let people in. I will begin this new phase of life in keeping with my motto for living, whatever the situation may be.

If you are reading this right now, could you do me a favor? Just send a little shout out to God for me, would you? My full time job had kept me from church for the last year and a half and I have no prayer partners or anyone close to keep me lifted up. That ending will be discussed in part two of this post. For now, I thank God for each and every prayer sent my way from the bottom of my heart. If there was ever a time I needed it, it's now.

Much Love & Many Blessings,
Follow my blog with bloglovin

Leia Mais...

All Things New

New Blog Look and New Signature! 


Leia Mais...


© 2008 Por *Templates para Você*